Roses Who’ve Felt The Thorns

BY GREG BENNETT

UV: First of all, how are you feeling and what is the prognosis with your cancer?
Dave Rose, BYU basketball coach: I feel great. The long-term prognosis looks good. Things were uncertain for a while, but all the news since then has been terrific. Every test and milestone has worked out better than we could have imagined. I was back to work Aug. 1, which is remarkable considering all this started June 5.
Cheryl Rose: I’m happy with how far he’s come. It’s been a roller coaster. It’s hard to see him go from this healthy guy to us trying to save his life for a couple of weeks there. I’m still protective of him. The trick is to get him to slow down.

UV: Coach Rose, you recently said your health challenges would make you and your family better people. In what ways has this been a blessing?
Dave: I hope it not only has had a real effect on us as a family, but I hope we can share this new perspective on life with other people, especially our team — coaches, players, support staff. We take our health for granted, but it’s a fragile thing. I hope we can appreciate and trust each other more.
Cheryl: This has certainly taught us life lessons. I don’t want trials, but they came and have helped us appreciate what we have. I took him for granted. I always assumed he would be here with me. We also learned a lot from the kindness of strangers. When Dave couldn’t sit up on the plane (during the vacation where the cancer was discovered), there were no pillows, so a stranger gave us her coat to use. When we got off the plane, she was gone. I couldn’t thank her. I can’t thank the 10 people who gave blood so Dave could live. It bothered me for a long time that I couldn’t thank everyone that was helping us. Then it occurred to me — I need to be that stranger. I need to be the one making a difference. We try to pass that lesson on to the team.

UV: What role has the local community — BYU and Utah Valley — played in dealing with this challenge?
Dave: We’ve had so much support from so many — for lack of a better word — circles of our life. We’ve heard from people who were part of our lives when I was a player, different people when I was a high school coach, other NCAA coaches I know, the Mountain West Conference coaches I work with so often and consider friends, and of course the BYU community has been amazing. The help expanded much further than any of us anticipated. It all played a big part in our attitude that helped in our progress through this.
Cheryl: We’ve even had fans of other universities show support.
Dave: Some of the most encouraging letters came from people I’d never met where they would share their experiences with health problems and how they’d overcome them. Those gave us energy and hope.

UV: You’ve worked with the Children with Cancer Christmas Foundation for years. How has your perspective changed with relation to that work?
Cheryl: It gave us new levels of compassion and understanding for what those people are going through. I never understood why I was drawn to that group. Now I do. They appreciate every minute. Sometimes it can be very lonely to be on the support side (of cancer treatment). Now I know why it’s important for them to get together. They understand each other, and now we understand them better as well.
Dave: Working with this group has been great for our team as well. You work with these families and see their strength; it gives you new lessons in life and helps you deal with challenges.

UV: When it’s time to put challenges aside and enjoy a Friday night date, where do you like to go?
Dave: We really like Sundance.
Cheryl: We like getting away a little bit. I like going places where we don’t get cell phone service.

UV: What is your favorite restaurant in Utah Valley?
Dave: Oh, that’s hard. There are a lot of great ones and we know all the guys.

UV: Then name a few.
Dave: Our favorite lunch spot is The Pizza Factory.
Cheryl: For sure.
Dave: If we’re going a step up, we really like Chef’s Table.
Cheryl: And The Tree Room. Our favorite take-out is Outback (Steakhouse).
Dave: Yeah.
Cheryl: I’m not a very good cook. My daughters can cook and my mother can cook, but it skipped a generation.
Dave: We’re doing our part to help the local restaurants.

UV: What is one thing that surprised you about your move to Utah Valley 12 years ago?
Cheryl: I was surprised by how easy the move was and how quickly we felt comfortable. I thought it would be hard, and it was — our daughter was a junior in high school — but I was amazed at how quickly it felt like home. And I love the mountains. I miss them when I’m gone. I love flying home and seeing those mountains again.
Dave: I was genuinely surprised at the support for what we do. We came into a pretty tough situation, but we still had good attendance at our camps. People still supported us as a place they associated with good basketball. It took a while to get people at the games, but they came back quickly after we started getting good teams on the floor again. There’s a lot of passion, and it’s all for the better. If people don’t care, it’s not as much fun to be a coach.

UV: What is your favorite non-basketball hobby?
Dave: We like the water. I’m not much of a surfer, but we like to be around the water. We used to own a boat, but we got out of that game. I used to water ski and Cheryl likes the water as well.
Cheryl: We enjoy traveling, although Dave’s idea of travel used to be just sitting on a beach somewhere. But I’m trying to pull him over to my side. I like history and visiting different places. He’s taking me to New York City for my birthday, and it was all his idea. One thing Dave likes to watch on television during the season is bull riding. I think it helps him remember that no matter how stressful or challenging his job is, there’s someone else doing something worse.

UV: What is the last book you finished?
Dave: I’m not much of a reader. I read sections of four or five books at a time. Right now I’m reading “Hearing the Voice of the Lord” (by Gerald N. Lund). Bronco Mendenhall gave it to me and I’m working my way through it.
Cheryl: One book we read is “The Healer’s Art” (by Lloyd D. Newell and Don. H Staheli). It was given to me by my sister right when all this was going on and we were very uncertain about what was going to happen. I read it to Coach Rose while he was in the hospital. It was one of those things — I’m sure it’s happened to you before — where the book feels like it was written just for us. It gave us peace and hope. It was based on the painting by Carl Bloch that hangs in the BYU Museum of Art (“Christ Healing the Sick at the Pool of Bethesda”) and we went there later to see the painting. It was a moving experience to go there and see the painting after reading the book together. Dave had never been to the museum before then. This goes back to appreciating and trying new things: the symphony, museums, different hikes. We want to live each day to the fullest. President Samuelson was great with this. At the beginning, we didn’t know much and doctors would come in and give us all these different scenarios. President Samuelson reminded us that really none of us know when our time here is going to be done, so we should consider each day we wake up a good day and make the most of it.

UV: How much sleep do you get each night?
Dave: Five or six hours. When we’re in the middle of league I can go on a little less.

UV: What is your favorite sound?
Dave: The ball going through the net — as long as our team is shooting it. (laughs) I also really like the roar of the crowd at the Marriott Center. I love coming home and everyone is talking about the game and I can’t hear very well because my ears are still ringing. It’s great.
Cheryl: I was going to say the sound of the ocean. It always calms me. But as I was thinking about it, I would say it’s the sound of the ball bouncing on the floor with the squeak of the sneakers. I walked through the Marriott Center this summer and heard that sound. When you don’t know if you’ll be around the team anymore, you appreciate it.

UV: Which role is the hardest: coach, father, husband or grandfather?
Dave: I don’t know if it’s hardest, but being a good husband is quite the focus. My children are great and understand how important it is that I work on my relationship with my wife.

UV: Which role is the most fun: coach, father, husband or grandfather?
Dave: Grandfather is the best. They don’t know much about me yet and still think I’m a good guy (laughs). I want to be great at all of them.
Cheryl: We decided a long time ago that we were going to work at our marriage. We go on a vacation, just the two of us, at the end of each season. We aren’t allowed to talk about the children or basketball. We had some quiet vacations when we were younger, but we knew it was important to maintain other interests.

UV: What do you miss most from your early married years?
Cheryl: Healthy bodies. I think we’re still the same, and then I go try to play tennis and realize things have changed.
Dave: I miss the spare time we had. It’s a challenge to be a high school coach, but at least there’s some sort of off-season. With this position you have the season, but then you add recruiting, things like this (interview) and the speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but I do miss some of the spare time I had then.

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