Mom’s The Word

Jane Clayson Johnson uses the phrase “I remember” 27 times in her book “I Am A Mother” — she also writes “I’ll never forget” five times and uses one “I recall.” Her 40 years of life have been packed with primetime memories of broadcast, politics, sleeping patterns and now motherhood.
After co-anchoring “The Early Show” with Bryant Gumbel on CBS, Jane was offered a four-year network contract with all the strings attached — big paycheck, New York lifestyle and national magazine coverage. But instead she chose a career with a mother lode of expectations: wife and mom.
Jane became a mother at age 37 after following a career path that included a BYU degree, a reporting position at KSL, covering the O.J. Simpson trial and interviewing Martha Stewart in the infamous “lettuce chopping” segment.
She now lives quietly in Boston with her husband, Mark Johnson, and their two children. Three stepchildren are also part of her new lifestyle in which she traded high heels for occasional high-pitched screams and dry-clean-only clothes for drying and cleaning loads of clothes.
During our interview, Jane exhibited firsthand her balancing act and also showed how much she still depends on her own mother — Jane’s mom (also named Jane Clayson) circled us during the photo shoot while showing Ella (nearly 3) and William (now 19 months) the outside and inside of the BYU Museum of Art. Jane checked on her kids whenever the photographer took a minute to adjust his equipment.
Jane’s passion for motherhood is now her top story, and her articulate demeanor lit a fire inside me for the role I play in my own family. Here is a portion of our candid conversation.

UV: Did your first career as a broadcaster prepare you for your second career of motherhood?
Jane: I really feel like the experiences of my life have brought me to this moment to be able to proclaim this message — that motherhood matters. When I left my career, a lot of people told me I was crazy and that I was making a bad decision. One executive said to me, “What are you going to do when you get to Boston?” I told him I was going to get married and be a mother. “Yes, I get that. But what are you going to DO?” Society needs to value mothers. I can’t tell you how strongly I feel about this.

UV: It’s very obvious how passionate you are about motherhood. What have you learned from being a mom that you couldn’t have learned any other way?
Jane: My two children are 15 months apart, and that was really hard. William was born at 27 weeks gestation, and in my book I talk about the lessons I learned from this. And the lessons are significant for moms of all ages. When he was in the NICU, he was very sick. The hospital recommended “kangaroo care,” which is skin-to-skin care. I would go to the hospital every day to hold him. Day after day, week after week, he didn’t respond to me in any way. I wondered if I was making a difference. A very perceptive neonatologist sensed my sadness and came to my corner of the unit. She sat down and said, “William can’t express it right now but on his behalf let me say ‘thank you’ for being here.” As moms, we may have children who cannot — or will not — express their feelings and gratitude for us. But these children know we are their mothers, and they know we are doing our best for them. Even if they can’t or won’t tell us, they appreciate us.

UV: What would you compare motherhood to?
Jane: Motherhood is like the fine stitches of a quilt. You don’t always notice all the individual stitches, but they are there. You can’t really see the quilt as a whole along the way. But those stitches — decades later — are crucial in the design of our children.

UV: Even though motherhood is so important, it can be difficult to balance it with our other roles. Have you ever needed to take a phone call, for example, and realized how difficult it is to fulfill multiple roles at the same time?
Jane: I remember when I needed 20 minutes on the phone for this reporter to interview me. William was in my arms with a bottle. Ella had her Elmo book in the corner, and I would dodge in and out of the bathroom to keep the baby from crying and keep Ella from getting upset. Mothering is juggling.

UV: What are the similarities and differences between juggling a network career and juggling the demands of motherhood?
Jane: Hmm … I traded in fancy lunches for delicious bunny-shaped macaroni and cheese. I still get up at 4 a.m., but it’s not for a TV studio. I don’t get pats on the back for landing a big interview, but I do get hugs from my children. The biggest difference is that what I did in TV is fleeting. It goes away. What I do with my kids today lasts forever.

UV: Do you ever miss your career?
Jane: There will always be another interview, another project. I didn’t want to look back at a bookshelf of video tapes and say, “That’s been my life.” That being said, it’s so much easier to write a resume than to craft a human being.

UV: Have you ever felt like “just a mom”?
Jane: Once when I was with my family and fully dressed in mom clothes, I ran into someone I had interviewed on television. He said, “Jane, is that you? What are you up to these days? Just a mom?” In that split second, I had to decide what I was going to say. What came out of my mouth surprised me. I said, “No. I am a mother!” I think he got the message.

UV: Why have you chosen motherhood as the topic of your first book?
Jane: A few years ago I went to a dinner meeting with my husband. This was shortly after having my first baby. The men were introducing themselves confidently and appropriately. They were expressing what they did and who they were. Time and time again the women stood up — and these were bright, talented women — and they described themselves as “just a mom.” They’d say, “I’m just a mom here. I don’t have any credentials. I’m just raising our six kids. I don’t have much to offer. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.” On one level, it made me think, “What have I done? I just left my career in New York to be a mother. What have I gotten myself into?” But then the journalist in me said, “There is a story here.” And this book was born.

UV: How did you choose the title of your book?
Jane: I want mothers to proclaim what they do. Society in general pays a lip service to mothers. But we don’t extend the same respect to moms that we do to politicians and attorneys, for example. We have got to change that. We have got to proclaim that mothering matters. It is more important than anything we ever do. Whether you are a mother or a stepmother or a grandmother or a single woman mothering a niece or nephew or neighbor down the street — it’s the work of the ages.

UV: Who did you write this book for?
Jane: I wrote it for moms who wonder if they are making a difference. I wrote it for young women who think fame and fortune and all things of the world are more important than bearing and raising little children. I wrote this book for grandmas who see their daughters and granddaughters struggling, and they need to help buoy them up. I can see the faces of the women I wrote this book for every day. I just feel somehow that this is my life’s work and that everything has led me to this path.

UV: Did you consider writing a motherhood book for a more national audience?
Jane: I always said that if I wrote a book I wanted it to have a spiritual focus. I have had other opportunities, but I wanted to write a book for women who understand the spiritual significance of this great calling.

UV: Did it feel like giving birth to write this book and send it out into the world?
Jane: Giving birth is harder. But this book has taken a lot of effort. At times I wondered how I could get my writing done with two little babies — and a premature one at that. But I’ve been helped along the way. I would wake up at 4 a.m. for William’s feeding, and ideas would come to me for a line or a paragraph. There’s something about being alone with a baby with no one else awake in a quiet house. Those are special times.

UV: With early mornings and late nights, how do you keep organized and motivated?
Jane: I’m a list person. There are some days when I feel like I’ve got everything lined up with my schedule, and then something will blow up my plan for the day — a box of Cheerios will get dumped on the floor. Or someone will throw up in the backseat of the car.

UV: I loved it when you shared the throw-up story in the book!
Jane: I try to be very real. I express the struggles and hardships of motherhood. A lot of people don’t appreciate what moms do every day. I’m like everybody else — I have good days and bad days, and I’m just trying to do my best. If I have a bad day, I try my hardest to have a better day the next day.

UV: What is your definition of a “good day”?
Jane: So much of society is about measuring success — you close the deal, you win the case. If we can’t measure it, we don’t value it. As a mother you don’t see the results of your work for years. So much about mothering is intangible. I think mothers and women in general really tend to undervalue what they do. The physical and emotional exhaustion, along with the self-doubt that comes with being a mother, causes us to devalue what we do each day.

UV: Do you have a “typical” day?
Jane: It varies. I am going through what every mom goes through with toddlerdom. When my stepkids come over, we have a plan and schedule for them. I do some work for NPR on the side. I have a busy life. I have moments that are chaotic and crazy and wonderful all at the same time.

UV: It seems you have found a great balance for your situation. What advice do you have for mothers about putting aside thoughts of things they’d rather be doing so they can be completely present with their children?
Jane: A child can sense if you want to be somewhere else or if you are not all there. We need to impart the importance by declaring, “I am your mother and that is important to me.”

UV: Do you feel that motherhood is valued by the upcoming generation?
Jane: As mothers we have to impart to these young women the importance of motherhood and how we really feel. I was speaking to a young women’s group, and we went around the room and every girl said what she wanted to be when she grew up. One girl shyly said she wanted to be a mother. I think we’ve got to tell our girls that it is OK to aspire to be a mother — and mothering isn’t just about bearing biological children. There are so many ways to be a mother, and we’ve got to value all of that. We’ve got to value nurturing and caring and connecting with people. That all falls under the umbrella of motherhood. I want to put my stake in the ground and say mothering matters.

UV: How do you wish teenage girls would approach womanhood?
Jane: I often talk to young women and I tell them there are seasons in life. I say, “Don’t let anyone deny you the joy of one season because they think you should be in or stay in another season.” I tell young women that they will come to many turning points in their lives, and they can be scary but they are doorways to the next adventure, the next season of life.

UV: Have you been able to enjoy all of your seasons?
Jane: I showed up at BYU as a freshman ready to live this life that I had envisioned for myself. I was planning to earn my degree, graduate in the month of April, get married in August and have a baby a year from December. I had my wedding colors picked out — peach and teal. It turned out that life didn’t work out for me in that way. I didn’t become a mother until I was 37 years old. But my path is not anyone else’s path. Everyone’s path is unique to them.

UV: Some young women — especially in our Utah culture — feel conflicted about getting their education and starting a family. How should they reconcile that?
Jane: It’s important to get your education and go see the world. Go have experiences that will enrich you as a person. I understand to some extent the conflict that exists within the choice between education and motherhood. You’ve got to do what is right for you and take the seasons that come into your life. Trust your instincts. It takes quiet confidence to do that. But if you do, you’ll have powerful moments of self discovery.

UV: What did you learn about motherhood from your own mother?
Jane: My mom always expressed to us the importance of what she was doing. I remember thinking, “Well, gosh. I must be important to her. She always speaks so highly of being a mother.” And as mothers, so much of what we do is by example. So I worry when women say, “I’m just a mom. I’m just raising our kids.” I worry what our children hear when we say that.

UV: What do you wish mothers would say instead?
Jane: I wish they’d hold their heads high and proudly say they chose to be a mother.

UV: What do you think are the top characteristics that make a great mother?
Jane: Every mother is different. And we need to mother differently based on our children’s needs. But I do think a mother who listens and is attentive to what her child needs and what that child is truly expressing to her is so important. Mothers can receive answers or promptings in a way that no one else really can. We need to understand that we have special callings as mothers. To help a child is critically important. And these moments come because we are spending time with our children. It’s hard to define the moments. It’s hard to know when teaching moments will come. Maybe the most valuable lesson will be when your child is in the back of the car riding to the grocery store.

UV: In your professional life, you have a reputation for being polished and put together. Was the transition to motherhood challenging because of the unpolished nature of the “job”?
Jane: If the people in my life before could see me now, they might laugh. It’s hard work to be a mother. There are some days I’m on my knees mopping up yet another mess. And I’ll look up at the TV and see an old friend interviewing someone really important. And I think, “What have I done? I haven’t even taken a shower today!” But as I look into the faces of my children and understand the importance of the work that is mothering, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

UV: Which is harder: television life or motherhood?
Jane: As hard as I worked in television, I work much harder now. But it’s also more rewarding.

UV: I’m sure you are often asked what your favorite interview was during your broadcast career.
Jane: I do get asked that a lot. I like to do political interviews because I try to get them to say something off the script — something they didn’t mean to say. I also did an interview with Martha Stewart that was memorable. It was right before she was indicted and while she was under the federal grand jury investigation. Martha kept her back to me during the interview, and I asked her tough questions. I was satisfied that I did a good job on that interview, and it is a favorite of mine for many reasons.

UV: And now your “line of questioning” goes something like, “Would you like Cheerios or Fruit Loops?”
Jane: Yes, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE MAGAZINE ONLINE